Straight Male Sperm Donors Seeking Lesbians to Have a Baby
It is trend we are seeing more often. Single heterosexual men are seeking lesbian couples who wish to have a baby. More and more men are looking to become sperm donors to lesbian women. Single guys are increasingly wishing to become known sperm donors.
A known sperm donor is a man who will help a woman become pregnant and through a written or verbal arrangement and will be known to the child. A common example of a known sperm donor arrangement would be where a guy helps a single woman or lesbian couple become pregnant. The woman would then bring up her child and provide the sperm donor with updates throughout the child’s life.
A lot of men do not wish to be involved after impregnation however we are recently seeing a lot more men who are happy for their identity to be known to their child. These men do not necessarily want to be involved in bringing up their child on a daily basis however they are more than happy to be kept at a distance with regular updates on the child.
Why are heterosexual men seeking lesbian women in order to become a father?
Some men are looking for a long term relationship - a wife, kids and a happy family future. Other men may still desire to become a father but are not in a position to seek a long term relationship. This can be down to their personal preference as a life choice, their professional position, financial situation or a thousand other personal reasons.
So why lesbians?
Perhaps men see lesbians as less complicated than heterosexual women. It can be a win win situation for both sides. Lesbian women do not have as easy access to sperm as some straight woman may do. Lesbian women have to specifically seek out the sperm they need to become pregnant. There is no chance of a romantic relationship so the situation can be a clear contract of sperm donation.
A woman wants a baby but doesn’t want a guy > a guy wants a baby but doesn’t want a woman = An advert for a sperm donor and a man happy to provide
The Legal Position for Sperm Donors
As a known sperm donor there are two ways you can donate sperm:
1) Artificial insemination at a licenced clinic
2) Home insemination using a sterile cup and syringe.
If you select artificial insemination at a licenced clinic the female carrying the child will always be the legal mother.
You will be considered the legal father of the child if:
- The woman is not married, in a civil partnership or in an enduring relationship;
- You receive treatment with the female “together” and she does not receive treatment with another person;
- You do not sign the relevant consents to exclude your status as the legal father. Being the legal parent of a child does not give you parental responsibility for the child.
You will need to obtain parental responsibility for the child be being on the child’s birth certificate, completing a parental responsibility agreement with the mother and registering it at the Principal Registry in London or by obtaining a court order.
Home Insemination
Using the home insemination method means the female who is carrying the child will be the legal mother of the child. If the female is married or in a civil partnership then her partner will be considered the second legal parent of the child.
If the woman is single then you will be the legal father, regardless of whether the insemination was by artificial means or not. You will be financially responsible for the child and will also have rights to the child. You would not automatically acquire parental responsibility as you would need to be named on the birth certificate to acquire this.
Alternatively you can enter into a parental responsibility agreement with the mother or apply to the court for parental responsibility. However, even if you do not have parental responsibility, you will still have rights in your capacity as the legal father.
As you are making a known donation it is important to regulate and agree the roles you and the mother will have in the child’s life. It is advisable that you put in place a “Sperm Donor Agreement” or a “Co-Parenting Agreement”. If you do not intend to be actively involved in the child’s upbringing it is advisable to draw up a Sperm Donor Agreement between you and the mother outlining how your sperm is to be used and what involvement, if any, you would like to have in the child’s life.
A Sperm Donor Agreement is designed to protect you, the mother and the child. Preparing a Sperm Donor Agreement is useful as it encourages you to consider all the issues that your arrangement can create.
It is always advisable to consider all of the issues at the start so that any potential disputes can be avoided.
It will be interesting to watch this situation develop throughout 2018. Perhaps due to the lack of gay sperm donors women are naturally matching with heterosexual men. It would be great to hear your thoughts on this topic. Join the debate #StraightManLesbianBaby