5 Awkward Questions to Ask Your Sperm Donor
When you meet your sperm donor in person you will get to know him well. You will likely form a friendly platonic relationship. This can make it difficult to ask certain things.
There are many standard questions that you should ask your sperm donor before he helps you to have a baby.
There are then those few awkward questions that you really don’t want to ask but you must.
We have put a list together of the top 5 most awkward questions you should ask your sperm donor:
1) Have you refrained from masturbating for the last 3 days?
You want the sperm you are about to inseminate to be of high quality and at its optimum so you need to ask your donor to avoid having sex or masturbating for two to three days before each donation.
Studies have shown that sperm quantity, quality and movement are at their best when the sperm is stored for around 2 to 3 days.
It is not recommended to carry out insemination after a long period of sexual abstinence as this could increase the number of immotile or dead sperm.
2) Do you think you may have an STI?
STIs are most definitely a barrier to becoming a donor. You need to ask your sperm donor if he has had a sexual health test. This test needs to be as recent as possible to ensure that he is clean and will not pass any diseases on to you during the insemination process.
If your donor has a history of unprotected sexual contact then you will need to make the decision if he can be trusted to stay clean after his sexual health test and prior to insemination.
3) Does anyone in your family suffer any genetic conditions?
Asking someone about any diseases or conditions they have is very personal. You also need to know if anyone in your donor’s family has ever suffered from a condition that could be passed on to your child.
A sperm bank will question all of their donors for the following so it is a must that you too ask your donor the same:
Cancer
Heart disease
Schizophrenia
History of addiction (alcohol or drugs)
Mental health issues
Cystic Fibrosis
Genetic illnesses
Congenital disease
Obesity
Allergies/asthma
Liver disease
Eye disease
Learning disability
High blood pressure
Migraine headaches
Stroke
4) Can you produce a sample of sperm on demand?
The awkward question of the day could well be asking your donor if he can get it up on demand. You will hand your donor a specimen pot and he will be expected to produce a sample. This can be a nerve racking experience for a donor.
Some sperm donors prefer to ejaculate into a condom however this could contaminate his sperm sample.
A sterile collection cup with a wide rim will help specimen collection and ensure as much sperm as possible is retained after ejaculation.
5) Have you donated sperm to anyone else?
It is really important to ask if your sperm donor has donated to anyone else. In the UK there is no actual limit to the number of children that can be born from a sperm donor. However, only 10 families can be created by one sperm donor.
That concludes our top 5 most awkward questions to ask your sperm donor. There are of course hundreds of questions you can and should ask. If you are using a known sperm donor outside of a clinic then it is solely your responsibility to get to know your donor, ask the right questions, ask the difficult questions and leave no stone unturned. This way, you and your donor are protected and your child will be assured from birth.
Ultimately the safest way to get pregnant with donor sperm is with a sperm bank or through a licensed clinic. In this instance the sperm is thoroughly tested and all relevant health questionnaires have been completed.