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Other Info:
Hi, I'm Alexey. I was born and grew up in the North of Russia in the region of Archangelsk within the Arctic Circle. I've lived in Belgium for more than 8 years, studied here, have a stable relationship, a permanent and satisfying job, and hold Belgian nationality. Currently, I live in Leuven but am slowly moving to the countryside in the Walloon Ardennes, where we have a house and an adopted dog.
Over time, I realized that my initial reluctance to have children was provoked by people telling me all my life that as a gay man, I must not be allowed to have any. Therefore, I focused on studies, work, traveling, and friends, which was great, but now, having a stable and nice life, I am starting to realize that I want to be a parent.
Adoption would be a great solution, but (fortunately) in Belgium, there are almost no orphans. I considered adopting in Russia, where orphanages are horrible and full of children, but this would mean that I would have to return there for more than a year and practically kidnap my own children to be able to bring them to Belgium. I'm not sure how I would later explain this to my children and how it would affect them. The same goes for surrogacy; I do not want my kids to hear that I bought them and feel unwanted by their biological mother.
This led me to co-parenting, where people may not have much together but respect each other, each other's time, and love their children. I believe that co-parents, being honest with each other and their children, can make their kinds happy because having two families of loving people is even better than one (which is already great) and it surely offers the chance to a child to travel twice as much : )
More seriously, apart from the shared financial burden, co-parents can support each other by letting the children spend more time with the other co-parent when there is a work or private-life-related necessity, instead of relying on grandparents unless they are willing to be involved. I also feel that living not in the same city/area but not very far from each other (e.g., different parts of Belgium, Belgium-Netherlands, or North of France/West Germany) can be beneficial for the child, enriching their cultural background.
My partner is Flemish from Vlaams Brabant, working in academia. He supports me with this idea, but I take all the responsibilities on myself.
I have no prejudices related to people's skin color or their origins. I'm not into conspiracy theories, fake science, or magical thinking.
I would like to find like-minded people to discuss this further. If you share my vision, please do not hesitate to contact me.
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