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Co-Parenting - Strangers Making Babies

Celebrating 10 Years of Co-Parenting and Counting...

Co-ParentMatch.com has been helping to create alternative families since 2007. We were the first website of its kind to introduce the concept of co-parenting to produce loving stable families. We have helped thousands of singles and couples achieve their dream of becoming a parent. Check out our success stories for some examples of the co-parents we have helped.

Strangers Making Babies

So here you are looking for a future parenting partner. Of course you do not know the person who will become the mother or father to your baby before you start your search however if you shortlist your matches, meet your favourites, ask a 1001 questions then research your potential match and get to know them well; you will then be in a position to make a decision on moving forwards to talk about ways to co-parent together. This is just the beginning. 

What is Co-Parenting?

Co-parenting is when two or more people agree to have a child and bring that child up together. 

For example, if you want your known sperm donor to be involved in the upbringing of your child you can opt for a co-parenting agreement.

A Co-Parenting arrangement usually involves both the birth mother and paternal father raising a child jointly based on a co-parenting agreement. Co-Parenting can involve differing amounts of access for both parents. Often the child will live with the birth mother and the father will have access rights seeing the child on an agreed schedule e.g. weekends, special occasions. In some cases both parents will live in close proximity to each other and will share custody on an ad hoc basis.

Co-Parenting arrangements will vary for every individual however it essentially a way for the child to grow up knowing both parents. It is important to set out the terms of your co-parenting agreement before conception.

Co-Parenting has traditionally meant separated or divorced couples who share access rights to their children and whilst they may not be a couple or live together both parties take it in turns to care for the child or children. However over the past decade in particular, there has been a sharp rise in the number of single men, women and gay and lesbian couples who wish to have a baby through a co-parenting agreement.

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How to find a co-parent

1. Sperm banks will enable you to have fertility treatment using a known co-parent.

2. Find free sperm donors on a website who are willing to co-parent. There are lots of men, who would like to become a father, willing to help you become pregnant through home insemination.

3. Use a friend who is willing to donate his sperm and co-parent with you. You can have artificial insemination at a clinic such as IUI or IVF with your known donor or get inseminated at home.

If you are looking for a co-parent to achieve your dream of parenthood then register with Co-ParentMatch.com now and start your search today.

Search our co-parent profiles for free now and find a match anywhere in the world. Co-ParentMatch.com was the first site of its kind created in 2007 to help like minded people find someone to help them have a child whether that should involve finding a potential mother or father to their child.

Co-ParentMatch.com is an introduction service to connect men, women and couples who would like to have a baby but simply haven't found the right person yet. Our matching service for co-parents helps you find somebody who is looking for the same outcome as you. Our co-parent list is updated every hour so your match could be waiting for you right now.

You can search through tens of thousands of profiles from all over the world to find a co-parenting match so complete a profile yourself and key in your requirements and we will do the matching for you.

Find your co parent match

If you are looking for a co-parent to achieve your dream of parenthood then register with Co-ParentMatch.com now and start your search today.

Search our co-parent profiles

  • Search our profiles for free now. We have thousands of co-parents and sperm donors all over the world. Find your co-parentmatch now.
  • Co-ParentMatch.com was the first site of its kind created in 2007 to help anyone who wants to find a sperm donor or is looking for sperm donation or a co-parent to have a child.
  • We are an introduction service to connect men, women and couples who would like to have a baby but simply haven't found the right person yet.
  • Our matching service for sperm donors and co-parents let you view member information that match what you are looking for.
  • Our sperm donor list is updated every hour so your sperm donor or co-parent would be waiting for you right now.
  • Co-Parentmatch.com provides an introductory service to anyone who wants a child but maybe has not found the right person by traditional methods.
     

Find Co-parents

Single men and women looking to co-parent

Are you a single man or woman who has not yet found the right person to have a child with? You may feel that now is the right stage of your life to bring a baby into the world. Are you a woman who would like to have the father involved inyour child's life?

You may be a man who would like to be known as the child's father and have more involvement in their upbringing. Some men may wish to be known as the father giving both parental and financial support depending on individual circumstances. You can find out more information about co-parenting law within our legalities of sperm donation section.

Lesbian & Gay Couples Looking to Co-Parent

If you are in a lesbian or gay relationship, co-parenting is becoming an increasingly popular option. It involves making an agreement for both couples to be involved in the child's upbringing. The level of legal parental responsibility would depend on whether the lesbian couple are legally married and the amount of contact each couple wish to have with the child. All issues of contact and responsibility must be clearly communicated prior to insemination taking place. It is strongly recommended that legal advice is sought and a donor or co-parenting agreement is in place to reduce any potential problems with co-parenting situations. You can find out more information about co-parenting law within our legalities of sperm donation section.

Is your donor or co-parent who he says he is? Check ID because if you are asking for health/fertility test results you want to make sure they are the results for that person named on the paper.

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Single men and women looking to co-parent

Lesbian & Gay Couples Looking to Co-Parent

Health Screening for Co-Parents

When parental responsibility is shared many details need to be worked out such as:

  • What role each parent will have?
  • How much contact with the child will they have?
  • How financial costs will be split?

As this can be complicated it is advisable to get legal advice before entering into any co-parenting arrangement. Being able to discuss with your co-parent what you expect from the start, can prevent a lot of problems occurring further down the line.

Role

There are many different co-parenting options and it is important to discuss what will work for both parties depending on your individual circumstances. For example if one male and one female are thinking about co-parenting together you may wish to discuss who will have primary custody, will custody be split equally?

Likewise if a partnered couple are co-parenting with a single person how will these parenting roles be split between all three parties?

You will need to consider:

  • Your location - how far away from each do you live?, Is it practical to share custody every week?
  • Your working hours – what commitments do you have that may impact on your availability?
  • Religion – can both parties agree on what religion to raise your child?
  • Discipline – what methods will each party use to disciple the child?
  • Schooling – where will the child attend school?
  • Support – what support mechanisms are in place for you as a parent? Do you have friends and family you can call on to support you?

 

Contact

How often each party has contact with their child is a huge discussion point that should be ironed out before you embark on your co-parenting journey. Will one party be seen as a primary carer or will each party have equal access?

Think practically about what will be involved for the child in terms of consistency in their life.

Finances

Having a child is costly so discussing issues regarding your child’s financial contribution is important. You will need to consider everything from food and clothing to schooling and vacations. Agree on a comprehensive list of costings and decide how these finances will be split.

 

Co-Parenting Agreement

Discussing a co-parenting agreement with a lawyer is essential if you wish to clearly state your intentions as a co-parenting couple. Having a legal agreement can help to eradicate any disputes that may arise between you and your co-parent.

Health Screening for Co-Parents

For details on health screening for co-parents please click here.

Here are Your Co-Parenting Legal Facts.

When you have found a co-parent match you can choose to conceive either through a licensed fertility clinic, by home insemination or natural insemination. The laws around parental rights and responsibilities are very different depending on which of these options you choose so make sure you consider your options carefully.

Those considering a co-parenting agreement are often concerned about guardianship, parenting rights, access and financial responsibilities. If the woman who is giving birth is married then, in most cases, the married couple are automatically protected and the partner will be legally classed as a parent. This would leave the male co-parent (donor) without any parental rights

If the woman conceiving is not married then she can choose either the donor (co-parent) or her partner to be named on the birth certificate. Depending on how the baby was conceived i.e. through a clinic or home/natural insemination,the donor would then become the child’s legal parent. I.e. conceiving through a clinic leaves the donor no parental rights.

The laws are continuously evolving for donor conceived children and co-parenting agreements. A co-parenting agreement is not necessarily legally binding however it is considered a good idea as it can help in court if a dispute arises. There are many good solicitors who deal in family law and it is recommend anyone considering a co-parenting agreement seeks legal advice.

3 Simple Legal Facts for Potential Co-Parents to Consider:

  • If you donate sperm through a fertility clinic with the prospect of co-parenting you will not have any parental rights or responsibilities.
  • If you are single and conceive via home insemination your male co-parent will be the child’s legal father.
  • If you are married and conceive at home, you would need to specify in a co-parenting agreement that you wish for the male co-parent (donor) to have legal responsibilities for the child. If you do not have a legal contract the donor may not be considered the legal father and both partners could then be named on the birth certificate as Mother and Parent.

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How useful is a co-parenting agreement?

A pen writing a co-parenting agreement

A written co-parenting agreement is useful if a dispute arises however it may not be considered powerful enough in a court of law to resolve parental responsibility. The legal effect of your agreement will depend on your individual circumstances and the content of your agreement. You should try to clearly set out your agreements with regards to all aspects of the involvement such as a co-parenting arrangement and state any decision making processes to do with the child’s upbringing such as contact rights, religion, schooling, country of residence etc....

Naming a co-parent on the birth certificate

If you agree to have the male co-parents name on the child’s birth certificate it will give the male parental responsibility. Parental responsibility will include financial responsibility and also could include the child’s right of inheritance from the donor in the event of death.

What rights do married heterosexual couples have if they conceive with a male co-parent?

It may be that the husband in a married heterosexual relationship is having fertility difficulties and the couple choose to use a known sperm donor to conceive.  In the UK there have recently been some cases challenging married couples who conceive with a known sperm donor and the donor’s right as the child’s legal father.

This is currently a very grey area of the law and therefore the law in these circumstances is not concrete and is open for challenge as the natural father may apply for rights to the child’s upbringing and likewise the natural father may be pursued for child maintenance. In most cases, if you conceive at home and are married both the husband and wife can be named on the birth certificate as Mother and Father.This would then mean your male co-parent would not legally be seen as the Father.

What rights do single heterosexual women, single lesbians and un-married lesbian couples have using a co-parent to donate?

If you conceive via home insemination your male co-parent will be the child’s legal father. If you conceive through a licensed fertility clinic with a known sperm donor there is a possibility that the donor will be considered as the legal father however this is an emerging area and the decisions will be based on individual circumstance.

If the father is not named on the birth certificate he will have no parental or financial responsibility to the child. If you are not married you can choose to have your partners name on the birth certificate and your partner will be seen as the child’s second parent and your donor will not be your child’s legal Father. If you conceive at home and are married, in most cases providing a legal donor contract is in place, the donor would not be considered the legal father and both partners can be named on the birth certificate as Mother and Parent. This would then mean your known donor would not legally be seen as the Father.

What rights do single heterosexual women, single lesbians and un-married lesbian couples have using a co-parent to donate?

If you conceive via home insemination your male co-parent will be the child’s legal father. If you conceive through a licensed fertility clinic with a known sperm donor there is a possibility that the donor will be considered as the legal father however this is an emerging area and the decisions will be based on individual circumstance.

If the father is not named on the birth certificate he will have no parental or financial responsibility to the child. If you are not married you can choose to have your partners name on the birth certificate and your partner will be seen as the child’s second parent and your donor will not be your child’s legal Father. If you conceive at home and are married, in most cases providing a legal donor contract is in place, the donor would not be considered the legal father and both partners can be named on the birth certificate as Mother and Parent. This would then mean your known donor would not legally be seen as the Father.

What rights do single heterosexual women, single lesbians and un-married lesbian couples have using a co-parent to donate?

If you conceive via home insemination your male co-parent will be the child’s legal father. If you conceive through a licensed fertility clinic with a known sperm donor there is a possibility that the donor will be considered as the legal father however this is an emerging area and the decisions will be based on individual circumstance.

If the father is not named on the birth certificate he will have no parental or financial responsibility to the child. If you are not married you can choose to have your partners name on the birth certificate and your partner will be seen as the child’s second parent and your donor will not be your child’s legal Father. If you conceive at home and are married, in most cases providing a legal donor contract is in place, the donor would not be considered the legal father and both partners can be named on the birth certificate as Mother and Parent. This would then mean your known donor would not legally be seen as the Father.

What rights do lesbian couples have if they conceive with a co-parent?

The law currently indicates that if the lesbian couple are married your male co-parent will not be the legal father if you conceive through a fertility clinic. If you are not married you can choose to have your partners name on the birth certificate and your partner will be seen as the child’s second parent and your donor will not be your child’s legal father.

If you conceive at home and are married, in most cases providing a legal donor contract is in place, the male co-parent would not be considered the legal father and both partners can be named on the birth certificate as Mother and Parent. This would then mean your known donor would not legally be seen as the Father. The law around rights of married lesbians receiving donor sperm is complex and it is strongly recommended to seek specialist advice from a law firm prior to any insemination.

Should your donor or co-parent attend the birth?

If you have chosen a known donor or someone to co-parent with then you may have to have a discussion as to whether you want this person present at the birth. This will be determined by the type of agreement you have and hopefully you can discuss this type of detail as early as possible.

If the donor wants to attend the choice will ultimately be down to the birth mother and your partner, if you have one, as to whether you want him to be present so talk about this type of issue even before you try to conceive just to make sure you are all singing from the same hymn sheet.

Most sperm donors will leave mum or mum and partner alone to get on with experiencing the birth of your child however if you have a co-parenting agreement this may be something that is important to the father and can be written in to a contract.

Related Articles:

Sperm Donation Guide

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